Think your job is difficult? Imagine cold-calling locals inside the Cleveland Browns’ ticket office. First, you’ve got to immediately launch into something cheery to prevent the person on the other end of the line from hanging up on the spot.
Hey, Mike! Listen. I know you remember the good ‘ol days of Bernie Kosar and Webster Slaughter. What about Leroy Hoard barreling through defenders?
Oh. You don’t. Hmm. OK, is your Dad around?
Oh. He renounced his fandom 20 years ago? Hmm. Well, anyway… ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL!? Boy, do I have a deal for YOU.
Shocker, you can attend the Browns’ season-opener for merely 48 bucks on StubHub. (Only $522 cheaper than the cheapest ticket to their friends 200 miles up Lake Erie, mind you.)
Get ‘em while they’re cold.