'I'm not done:' Latavius Murray has the NFL Running Back Survival Guide

He's 34 years old and he wants to change everything you think about this position. The oldest active RB in the NFL last season shares his secrets. From injuries to tragedy to sleeping at the facility.

Illustration by Brave Buffalo

The NFL rages one ferocious direction. It does not stop. It’s inevitable.

On Nov. 24, 2016 his best friend was murdered. Gunned down in Syracuse, NY.

Three days later, Latavius Murray needed to play a football game on the other side of the country. He couldn’t hit pause on life, lock a bedroom door shut and unload all emotions when a devastating loss like this requires such an emotional release. About 2,700 miles away, Murray had to punch in as a running back for the Oakland Raiders, his fourth in a league, against the Carolina Panthers.

“The NFL is not waiting for you,” Murray says. “You suck it up and get out there. It just keeps moving.”

He didn’t want to get left behind, so he played on. This is the biological response for all football players with any aspirations of a long NFL career: Press on. Don’t ask questions. Ram into the line of scrimmage without hesitancy or fear. Murray knows those 72 hours were bad for his mental health. He never even gave himself the chance to grieve and, consequently, real trauma built up. This was a friend he’s known since kindergarten. They graduated high school together. Played sports together. He talked to Jonathan Diaz every single day — no exaggeration.

“That was one of the most important people in my life. In my life,” Murray repeats. “And I don’t think I grieved the way I should have.”

He’s not proud of his ability to compartmentalize, but he also knows it’s a necessity for anyone trying to make a living in this sport. So, Murray took a sip of water from his canteen, reached into the First Aid kit and gauzed the grief with… nothing but more head-on collisions. More bruises. More pain. He scored a touchdown during that weekend’s 35-32 win over the Panthers, and the 6-foot-3, 230-pound running back hasn’t stopped since. Team to team, season to season, 1,606 carries and counting, Latavius Murray also moves one relentless direction. The 34-year-old plays one of the most disposable positions in all of sports, waves of players constantly enter the league to take his job, yet — somehow — he has managed to stay employed.

Inside the five-corners Starbucks in Western New York, Murray points toward West Seneca and says he bought a house ahead of the 2023 season to give himself zero choice but to make the Buffalo Bills’ roster last season. And he did.

He was the oldest active running back in the league.

Quietly, he’s become a fascinating NFL anomaly.

Running backs are universally dismissed as VHS relics at the 30 turn. There’s always someone who’s younger. More talented.

Relay this widely held truth to Murray and, frankly, it pisses him off.   

“I want to prove that wrong,” he says. “We’re undervalued, underappreciated, underpaid. And when we start to hit that certain age, we’re a lot more scrutinized than other positions. I know the quarterback position doesn’t do what we do. But our position? You hit 30, they’re thinking, ‘Why would we even consider this?’ I want to remove that stigma. I’m motivated to prove that you could play longer. Why should I be an outlier? There’s quarterbacks that are 30, 40 playing. There’s linebackers 30-plus playing. There’s tight ends, 30-plus playing. Why should I be the one outlier that’s 34? Why should it be so hard for us to get a job? That’s motivating to me.” 

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We first struck up conversation inside this Starbucks on our morning routines. I was usually typing away in the corner as Murray picked up a brew on his way to work at One Bills Drive during the ‘23 season. Soon enough, we realized the same high school knocked us off in the NYS Class “D” football playoffs and we swiftly devolved (quite literally) into two old guys at the local coffee shop going on and on about that time we both should’ve won state.

Yeah, he’s been around for a while. The end may be near, too. Murray is waiting for a phone call and would love to play Season No. 12 for the Buffalo Bills. For now, Murray has no choice but to remain patient.

Fight his way onto a contending roster this season, at 34, and this father of five will undoubtedly pry eyelids open across the country. He knows this wilderness. Right here is a man in possession of the ultimate running back survival guide. With time to kill — as the NFL (yet again) waits to give him another chance — Murray takes a seat and shares his secrets for nearly two hous.

Murray has overcome throbbing ankle injuries, playoff heartbreak and tragic deaths.

Murray has slept at a team facility after landing from a game in London and given inspiring speeches to new teammates. He’s still not happy with Pat McAfee for mocking him.

There’s something he knows that other running backs do not. So even with kids aged eight, five, four, two and four months at the time of this chat, even with every reason to load the fam up into an RV, drive south and crack open a Corona on a beach somewhere, Murray stays in the wilderness.

He chooses to keep playing.

“I’m not done,” he says. “Definitely not done.”  

Go Long

Roots

At three years old, he moved from Florida to Syracuse, N.Y., where Latavius Murray attended tiny Onondaga Central High School and followed the footsteps of future Michigan star Mike Hart. His final season, Murray rushed 175 times for 2,194 yards and 28 touchdowns. The chances of making it to the pros as a prospect in Upstate New York aren’t high. Let alone at a school this small.

How have you been able to just not just survive, but thrive in this league, since 2013?

Obviously, it starts with the mind. I believe in myself and I love the game of football. And so it starts there — with wanting to be out there. But then there’s work that goes into it and I’ve been willing to put the work in. There’s no way around it. There’s guys that are physically gifted and talented. There’s some that are more gifted and talented than me. But without the work, none of those things matter. Without the mental toughness, none of those things matter.

Where does that work ethic come from?

Without a doubt, my work ethic comes from my Mom. And she just recently retired. But growing up, she was someone that worked double shifts, overnight shifts, holidays. For the most part, she barely was home. So seeing that. And when we were three years old, we left Florida. Her and my Dad split up. We left Florida. She took me and my brother. We moved in with my grandfather. So our start to Syracuse was leaving Florida and living with my grandparents to really thriving and her just getting a job, taking care of ourselves, getting a home built. I’ve seen growth. And I’ve seen what hard work can do. I’ve seen it right within my own household with my Mom. I’ve seen our lifestyle change. So, I knew that’s what it took.

What did she do?

She worked for the state. She was a house director for a development disabled company. Essentially, they all stay in a home and they all have their own room and you oversee the home. Some of them are advanced and they have jobs, but you’re taking care of adults. Older adults that are just disabled. Transportation. Taking them to events. She’d bring them around the holidays, and so we even got familiar. She always brought work home. And there were lessons learned from there, too. I learned how to interact with those that were different than me.

You don’t see many “Class D” football players make it to the NFL. How many people did you graduate with?

Sixty-five kids. Yeah, I try to say it making to the NFL is a 1 percent, but I’m sure someone finding you from a school like Onondaga is 1 percent of a 1 percent. Maybe less. The fact that we had two, I think it was a miracle.

Could you sense that your drive was different?

I knew I was physically better, but I just had a drive to keep going and elevate. I wanted more than Syracuse. I wanted more than Onondaga. I wanted to make it out. Maybe it’s your surroundings. Mike Hart came four years before me. He went to Onondaga Central and then became Michigan’s all-time leading rusher. One of the prominent programs in football. And then he made it to the NFL. I was sitting with him that day in his grandmother’s living room when he got the call from the Colts (in 2006). I saw his life change in that moment, and so it was real to me. It could happen. Obviously, I’m chasing that feeling. I’m chasing that life-changing moment, but I see that it can happen. And then Syracuse basketball. Carmelo Anthony, he comes in and he brings the city a national championship (in 2003). On the biggest stage. Little old Syracuse. I want that. I want to feel that. I want to know what it’s like on the biggest stage to keep going to in any league.

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Tragedy

On to Central Florida, he finished second in school history with 44 total touchdowns and sixth in rushing yards (2,424). Murray wasn’t invited to the NFL Combine but turned heads with a 4.38 at his pro day. The Oakland Raiders drafted him in the sixth round (181st overall) of the 2013 NFL Draft. Admittedly riding “high and mighty,” Murray was promptly humbled by a mysterious ankle injury his rookie year. All training camp, he couldn’t shake it. He had a scope done in August — that didn’t work. Oakland stashed him on injured reserve, and it never got better. He saw a specialist and finally underwent surgery in late December.

The diagnosis? Ligament damage from years of sprains playing basketball. Play enough ball and the ankle becomes unstable. He had that loose ligament cut and reattached.

He knows his NFL career could’ve ended before it began. Fortunately, Murray showed enough in camp to warrant another look in 2014. Sharing the backfield with Darren McFadden and Maurice Jones-Drew on a 3-13 Raiders team, he announced his presence with a 90-yard touchdown run vs. Kansas City. A concussion ended that 4-carry, 112-yard afternoon, but Murray took over as the No. 1 back by season’s end.

In 2015, he eclipsed 1,000 yards. In 2016, his Raiders broke out as one of the most exhilarating teams in the NFL with seven fourth-quarter comebacks through a surreal 12-4 season. If not for Derek Carr breaking his leg on Christmas Eve, those Raiders might’ve hoisted the Vince Lombardi Trophy. Carr was an MVP frontrunner. Bare minimum, Murray knows those Raiders would’ve played at New England in the AFC title game.

Of course, Murray lost far more than a ring that year. Around 1 a.m. on Thanksgiving morning, his best friend — Jonathan Diaz — was shot and killed in downtown Syracuse. After a confrontation in Corner Bar, in which Sangsouriyanh Maniphonh head-butted Diaz, both men were pulled apart by a bouncer and kicked out of the bar. They exited via separate doors but met again at nearby Walton Street. As detailed by Syracuse.com, Maniphonh’s wife was a former romantic partner of Diaz.

Maniphonh shot Diaz twice in the chest. Diaz died shortly after.

Maniphonh, pleading self-defense, was acquitted.

One of Murray’s other close friends, Quintez “Tez” Thomas, witnessed everything and also stood trial. The case rocked an entire community in Central New York and — most certainly — Latavius Murray’s world on the other side of the country.

“That shook up my world completely,” Murray begins. “That was my best friend.”

What happened? Why was your friend shot?

His argument was self-defense. There was an altercation inside. And then when they got outside, my friend approached him because the guy headbutted him, but they deemed it two separate events since my guy approached him. The guy pulls out a gun and shoots him as they were wrestling, as they were on the ground interlocked. But he pulls out a gun and shoots him, and they said it was self-defense.

If you let it, the verdict hits harder almost sometimes. The incident is one thing. But then you almost justify it.

Jonathan wasn’t threatening him with a gun?

No, no. He had no gun on him.

Doesn’t make any sense.

At all. This guy was ex-military. When you get in that courtroom, you’ve got to sell it. He said that he was more afraid in that moment than he was when he was in Iraq. … He said that Tez was a part of who he thought was coming to him — why he said it was self-defense.

And your friend had a clean record?

Yeah, yeah. He doesn’t have anything.

The night before Thanksgiving. Is that when you found out, too?

I’m three hours earlier getting a massage. I’m on the massage table. Tez called me and he was like, “Hey, Jon got shot! Jon got shot!” And you just hear him wrestling and people trying to console him. My friend Tez, you hear him just screaming, “Get off me!” And then the phone hangs up. So at that moment, I’m not sure what’s going on. I just hear Tez. I didn’t hear the actual incident. But he’s on-scene. He has his blood on his shirt. So he was there with him right after he got shot.

I can’t imagine what’s going through your mind in that moment.

I was just confused. Obviously, you just want to know what’s going on. I called everybody. And then everybody goes to the hospital and you’re just waiting. And then the doctor came out. I was on the phone with my brother. I was just kind of waiting with them on the phone. And my brother just said, “Man, he’s gone. He’s gone.” At that moment, it was like a movie.

So your friend Tez is on the scene with Jonathan?

Yeah, they were together. They were approaching that guy together. Tez said he thought the guy was going to shoot him. He was scared. He saw the gun. The gun’s still smoking, he said. He can describe it. He said the gun’s still smoking. He’s thinking that “He’s going to shoot me. I thought he was going to shoot me.” So he’s traumatized, too. But yeah, he was right there. Saw it all happened.

When he called you, did you think that Jonathan could still make it then at that point?

I’m assuming he can still make it. He said to Jonathan, “Are you alright, man?” And Jon said, “No, I’m not alright.”

I think about Tez a lot. Because I didn’t have to experience that. And it hurts me to hear his story — Tez’s. He was there and he had to experience every bit of what he’s telling me. But even hearing his story about it, I’m like, “Goodness. How do you even sleep at night? You saw it. You saw every bit of it.” I think he was on the ground and he was just like, “Jon, you all right man?” And he was like, “No, I’m not good.’ And obviously however many hours later, he’s not here anymore. So, you saw his last moments. I can’t imagine that. I can’t imagine living with it, honestly. So, I don’t think I was meant to see it. I can’t imagine.

How is Tez doing it today?

I think he’s doing good, but who knows how much you keep in?

And now everybody has to live with the verdict. You’ve got to still think about this a lot. Like you said, this is your best friend.

That’s my foundation. That's called the Jon Diaz Community Center Foundation (in Nedrow, NY). I named the community center after him.

Could you talk to anybody with the team? Derek Carr is really big in those situations.

Derek. Derek. I’ll never forget. Derek came and he grabbed me when I was in the room. I was just in the running back room. Alone. Just kind of sitting with it and crying. And he came and consoled me. I still picture that moment.

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Honesty best policy?

That ’16 season ended unceremoniously. With the quarterback who baptized him sidelined, Murray’s Raiders fell in the playoffs. It appeared Murray picked a great time to rush for 788 yards and 12 scores, too. He was set to hit free agency. What people didn’t know was that Murray was gritting through an ankle injury. His other ankle. Into the offseason, it didn’t heal.

As it turned out, he had ligament damage in this ankle, too. And a torn deltoid.

He could’ve concealed this info from NFL teams in contract talks. Many players would. But Murray deemed it best to tell the truth, even if it cost him millions. He signed a three-year, $15 million deal with 8.5M guaranteed with the Minnesota Vikings, and then had surgery on this ankle in March.

The ankle remained a pain through this ’17 season, but once again Murray was the leading man on a Super Bowl contender. He pounded away for 842 yards and eight TDs on a 13-3 Vikings club.

You told them about your ankle before you put pen to paper?

Before I put pen to paper. That was something I struggled with, man. But I couldn’t get myself to not tell it. I couldn’t. And I think it’s possible I messed up money with that. And there’s some friends of mine who said, “Oh man, that was just dumb.”

But you just wanted to be honest?

I wanted to be honest.

And that’s the moment — as a running back, seeking a second contract — you really need to maximize your earnings.

Right there at that time, yeah, I’m signing for a lot more. It would’ve been more guaranteed for sure. … They signed me and they even paid for the surgery when I signed. They said, “We still want you.”

You get to Minnesota, you’re starting again, and then what?

There was a time there in Minnesota — this is a true story — where I thought, “OK, this injury, I’m not going to come back from.” It was hurting. I couldn’t figure it out. And I knew I wasn’t playing well because one of my running back coaches pulled me to the side and asked what was going on. I broke down in there and was just like, “Man, I don’t have any answers for you.” It just wasn't working. Whatever I was doing up to that point wasn’t working. And he gave me some advice. From that point on, man, he told me to seek out our strength coach (Mark Uyeyama) and try to pick his brain on doing some extra things before and after to get ready.

So, you didn’t know what was up? You’re thinking this thing’s fixed and it should be good.

And we’re at the tail end of training camp. Maybe into the season a little. And it’s just not doing it for me. I got with our strength coach and I just asked him, “What more can I do?” He gave me a few things and started incorporating that. And that did it. More warming up and extra stuff after.

This is another team that could’ve won it all.

Minneapolis Miracle.

What was your vantage point on that play?

Man, my vantage point is sitting on a damn sideline. Jet’s the third-down back. “Jet” McKinnon. I’m just like, “Man, we’ve got some tough sledding. The odds are stacked against us, let’s be honest. Getting yards and getting out of bounds. When he still stays on his feet — untouched — and I’m like, “There is no way.” Still to this day, that was the most adrenaline that’s ever went through my body. Throughout the whole night. Couldn’t sleep. And I really felt like, “We’ve got to go to the Super Bowl.” To pull that off?

You would’ve hosted the Super Bowl if you beat Philly in that NFC title, too. 

Yeah, I’m thinking all the stars are aligning. But it’s hard, man.

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Heat Heals

After one more year in Minnesota, off Murray went to the New Orleans Saints in 2019 and 2020.

Here, Murray experienced a true epiphany in terms of his physical health.

Of course, it takes understanding back home. There were days his wife didn’t understand why Murray needed to be at the team facility on his day off. The two were raising kids. Every second at home counts. But Murray also remembered the sight of his own mother working nonstop to put food on his table and became determined to do everything possible to stay available at a position that takes a beating. Availability matters more than anything.

Murray’s a tall target for defenders. He welcomes contact and absorbs contact head to toe.

With the Saints, he turned his body into a well-oiled machine.

With the Saints, with QB Drew Brees, he also lost two more playoff heartbreakers. Once in the wild card to his former team, the Vikings, in overtime of the wild card. (“Kyle Rudolph pushed off.”) Then again in the divisional round. That 12-4 Saints team in 2020 — like the ’16 Raiders, like the ’17 Vikings — had the talent to win it all, and Murray was the hammer complement to Alvin Kamara in the backfield with 656 yards and four touchdowns. (“Then, Tom Brady.”) The Saints lost at home to the eventual Super Bowl champs, Tampa Bay.

Did you believe this team could’ve won it all?

I did. I did. With Drew? A hundred percent. Every time with Drew. He was next level.

What made him special?

His mind. One of the smartest, if not the smartest. Kirk (Cousins) is very smart but Drew? Drew’s very smart. What hasn’t he seen? Before the play, you were beat.

How so? At the line pre-snap?

Yeah, like, “Hey, hey get out! Free release here. Hey, run an out.” He’ll be catching the snap and pointing: “Hey, he’s coming.” Just next level. He saw it. When you get that many repetitions over all those years, think about it. There’s not too much you haven’t seen.

How were you able to keep surviving?

The body. I was able to stay really healthy for a good span. I hit a turning point with the body and staying healthy and kind of started really figuring it out, figuring out my body, figuring out myself. That was the difference.

What went into all of that?

Massage and cold tub. Everybody clowns a lot that I always stay in the hot tubs a lot. But I had learned about heat. There’s so much healing in heat.

Hot tub and cold tub?

I’ll do hot tub and cold. But hot tub though, for sure. I’m a hot tub guy.

On Instagram, we’re always inundated with the cold-plunge ads. Are those helpful?  

All that is good for your nervous system. But again, heat heals. Heat heals. That’s what I learned. You want your body to heal and recover. And then massage therapy of course. And then eating. Being aware. I wouldn’t say I was on a strict diet, but I was aware of what I was eating and when I was eating it. And somewhat the macros, I became more aware of how much protein intake and how I was feeling. It was this awareness and then in the offseason — what it looks like and what it doesn’t look like in terms of training. More times than none, you’ve got to get to it. That’s the time to push yourself.

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‘We bring certainty’

The sound of baristas calling out pick-up orders synchronizes with the music over the speakers and coffee grinding nonstop at Starbucks. People hustle in and out. A perfect backdrop to the next stage of Murray’s career. Because after that 2020 season? He was on the brink. The Saints asked him to take a pay cut, and he refused. After the Ravens lost J.K. Dobbins, Justice Hill and Gus Edwards in a span of 10 days, they signed Murray on a Friday and he scored a TD in an overtime loss Monday.

At one point, he shared the 2021 Ravens backfield with fellow old heads Devonta Freeman Le’Veon Bell.

He was hoping the Ravens would re-sign him in 2022. They did not. Knowing how the NFL viewed him then — “He’s done” — Murray volunteered to coach at Oviedo High School near his alma mater in Florida. He’d work with the running backs. This new career lasted all of one day. One week into the season, the Saints added him to their practice squad and — after waiting two weeks on the P-squad — he was needed on the field again. New Orleans traveled from their game in Carolina to London to play the Vikings. With multiple backs down, Murray ran for 57 yards and a TD to remind everyone he’s not done yet.

Then, more madness.

Into ’22, you don’t know if that call’s coming.

I had a solid game right after coming off the couch. Everybody was clowning. Which by the way, I was working my ass off, waiting for that call. … We get back late in the morning in New Orleans. Four or five o’clock. I don’t have a home because I’m on the practice squad. I don’t have a hotel. I stay in the facility that night when we land. Javonte Williams got hurt (for the Broncos). That morning early, Denver calls. I’m on a plane to Denver that night. So within a matter of 48 hours, I’m in London, I’m in New Orleans and I’m in Denver. Starting.

You stayed at the facility in New Orleans?

In the recovery lounge. I slept on a La-Z-Boy.

Anybody else around?

No, no.

Do you have a pillow?

I just had a hoodie and my suitcase.

Why didn’t you want to buy a hotel?

Honestly, for whatever reason, I felt that I knew that I was going to get an opportunity. I didn’t know what the next day or so was going to bring.

How many hours do you sleep?

Maybe two or three. We got there early in the morning. So it’s the adrenaline. I had this solid game. You’ve got to imagine, man. I thought that it was over — I truly did. I went and started volunteering. I felt so bad because I had to go through the process of doing an online security background checks and all of these things to be able to work with the high school kids. And so the first day that I decided to go there, my agent calls and says, “Hey, New Orleans wants you. Do you want to go and practice squad?” I said, “Hey, if that’s our way to get back in and get in front of them and show ‘em that I got it, let's do it.”

In your head you’re thinking, “it’s over.” But you’re still working.

I’m working my ass off. I was working. It was by myself, and I think that always makes it harder. It’s easier when you're with a group and you’re getting pushed. But everybody’s had training. Everybody started their season now, so it was harder because I’m by myself. And so I’m just watching from a distance. I hate to say it but you’re watching the ticker: “Did someone get injured?” You’re in that mindset.

You have to be. It’s survival mode. You want a spot. You’re hoping for a practice squad spot.

I want to say it was Week 3. Missed all of camp. All of that. There was interest and like, “Hey, we’ll see.” I talked to Brandon Beane that offseason. Sometimes, it’s just like that. I’m sure GM’s, coaches, personnel, scouting department can put a lot on a specific year. Looking at Baltimore film, you’re like, “Man, this guy’s done. He’s washed up.” I know in my mind I got there frickin’ two days ago and then here you’re learning this new offense and it’s a lot different out of the pistol with Lamar. With (Greg) Roman, you’ve got all these pulls and stuff like that. Sometimes, the situation is just better. Sometimes, the fit is just better.

You play a position where it’s so easy for GMs to write you off. There’s always younger options with less mileage. Is it as simple as — when you get your opportunity, like you did in London — making the most of it? Proving your worth? Why should running backs be valued more at 30+ years old?

If the projection and the consistency is there, you know what you’re getting. We bring certainty. And don’t get me wrong. Injuries happen. But I think we bring certainty. You know what you’re going to get. We bring maturity and veteran presence.

That’s tough for teams to measure, but that matters in football.

It definitely matters. It definitely matters. It definitely matters. And I think it’s a value that I know I bring to any running back room. Any running back room I’ve been in, there’s never been any issues. Never been any drama in terms of playing time. I’m not afraid to speak and I am not afraid to lead. But I think because of my journey, I’ve never been cemented in a place long enough to be a captain or key pieces were already in place. You go to Oakland and at the end there you got Derek, you got Maurice Jones-Drew, you got Darren McFadden.

I can’t help but laugh at those names. You’ve been around forever. MJD is now a chunky analyst on NFL Network. McFadden feels prehistoric.

I know, I know. You got these guys, Marcel Reece. Charles Woodson.

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Burn the Ships

Those ’22 Broncos were an abomination under Nathaniel Hackett, but not Murray. He proved he deserved to stay in the NFL with his most rushing yards since 2017 (760) and six touchdowns on 171 attempts. Back to the drawing board in the ’23 offseason, it was time to make a symbolic statement. Beane called again — that Denver film popped to the Bills GM — and Murray signed a one-year deal in May.

There was no guarantee he’d make the Bills team, so he decided to buy a house in West Seneca and leave no doubt. His wife and kids moved right in with him.

Once again, Murray was carrying the football for a contender. And scoring touchdowns. He made a point to speak up in the middle of the season and, no, Murray didn’t enjoy the likes of Pat McAfee and Emmanuel Acho poking fun at his speech to the offense. Murray knows he has much wisdom to share. His role diminished down the stretch when Joe Brady was elevated to offensive coordinator, but he still feels fresh.

He loved telling head coach Sean McDermott that he’s basically Woody from “Toy Story.” There’s always a new toy available for Andy — a Buzz Lightyear, a younger back out of college — but you know what you’re getting in Latavius Murray.

What prompted you to buy this house in West Seneca?

We burned the ships. I was going to make the team. That was my thought and my belief. I was going to make the team, so I needed a home. I needed to buy a home. I couldn’t just say, “Hey, we’re going up to Buffalo for a few months and you guys stay here or whatever. It’s like, “Hey, I’m going to Buffalo to make the team. Let’s sign up for school. Let’s find a home and let’s make it happen.

You’re literally pointing toward West Seneca, too: We’re living right here.

Me and Trent Sherfield clown about that a lot. There’s a lot of uncertainty going into it. I had to tell my wife — that’s a tough conversation. You tell your wife, “Hey look, we’re going to go to Buffalo and we’re going to move there.” But I had to tell her, “There's a chance I may not make the team.”  

The general sentiment is a patronizing, “Good for Latavius. He’s hanging on.” But like you said, you’re not afraid to speak up.

Everybody made light of me speaking up this year in Buffalo. Pat McAfee and Emmanuel Acho. They were questioning why I spoke up in the Bills locker room this year. That pissed me off. But it pissed me off because, for one, these are two former players and I played 10 years in the league. So no matter how long I’ve been in a place or in an organization, I don’t have knowledge to give? I don’t have opinions? I don’t have reputable experience? So prior to the Denver game, I just brought in the offense. My whole point was: “We have all the pieces in here. The reason I wanted to come here is because of the guys that are in this room.” I made that known. And so I was just reiterating the talent that we had and what we were capable of doing. It was only the offense. I’m not afraid to speak up. I’m not afraid to talk 1 on 1 and pull somebody to a side. I’ve never been the one to make it public. Because those are not my intentions. My intentions are to problem solve. Not put it out there.

It's easy to poke fun at your name: Why is he in the NFL? Why is he speaking up here? But you had a solid season with your carries.

This is no shade at Joe, but obviously I think things changed. And I love Joe. Joe was a New Orleans guy before I got there. So we speak the same language, me and Joe. But I think things just changed and that was what I had to embrace. A new role. Things being different. I thought at the beginning of the year I was thriving. I really did. I felt great. And then yeah, things changed. I know there was were things that I played through and was dealing with that I’m taking care of.

Can you elaborate?

Normal aches and it was nothing major. No surgery needed. But when you play through something that needs rest — and you’re never able to get that rest — I don’t take “vet days.” That’s not me. I do the amount of lifts I’m supposed to do. I’ve never been a primadonna. I’ve always believed in the work and I never believed in doing less work than anybody else. You’d be hard-pressed to find anyone who would disagree. But as I’m older now I have to realize, “OK, when you see other guys doing it, maybe that’s something that I need to probably consider being a running back who’s 34 years old.

As the season goes on, I need to find balance. There might’ve been some ways that I could have put some of the “Tay Train” on reserve and save it for Sundays.

It’s easy to look at last year and think that there was a drop-off, that maybe I hit a wall. Looking at it, you may think, “He didn’t have it.” There’s a lot that goes into it. Personally, there’s a lot that goes into it. Physically, there’s a lot that goes into it. I’m fully capable of playing another 17+ game season.

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More Tragedy, More Clarity

On Nov. 11, 2023 — seven years after losing his best friend — Latavius Murray lost another one of his closest friends: D.J. Hayden. The two were drafted together in Oakland and lived together for two years. In fact, when Diaz was killed, it was Hayden’s mother who came to Murray’s home and consoled him. In a fleeting moment of emotion, he cried in her arms.

Now, Hayden was gone.

Six people in all died from the two-car crash in downtown Houston.

Hayden was at Murray’s wedding. They became close — very close — and stayed close throughout Murray’s football odyssey. This time, he made sure to grieve this loss.

Year 11 is coming, and he doesn’t have a team yet, but Murray has never felt such clarity in football and life. Joking that he and his wife are “fertile beings,” Dad has five mouths to feed. Moments before meeting up here at Starbucks in Orchard Park, he dropped the kids off at school. The go-to show at home is Big City Greens… with a dash of Bluey. He can’t get past the unrealistic bar set by Bluey’s Dad, though. (“You guys are killing me. You’ve got to stop.”)

The family is in wait-and-see mode now. They’ve got the house here in Western New York and they’re also building a house in Orlando. The Bills are Option No. 1. He loves the organization. He grew up 150 miles down the I-90. Both Beane and McDermott know he wants to stay in Buffalo. The dialogue’s been open and Murray speaks in the present tense when it comes to this team. (“We have a chance to make history here,” he says.)

Of course, the Bills are going young. They just drafted Kentucky running back Ray Davis in the third round and re-signed Ty Johnson behind starter James Cook. Not to mention, Frank Gore Jr. signed as a UDFA. You know, one of Murray’s former contemporaries for eight seasons. Nineteen backs were drafted last month, nineteen players who also happen to be a decade younger.

Murray knows he’s bringing a team something different, and that it only takes one believer, one chance and, OK, one injury (or two) to crack into a lineup.

Until then, he’ll get stem-cell treatment in Columbia.

He’ll keep an eye on that ticker.

He’ll stay ready.

How did losing DJ Hayden affect you?

When he passed away, it hit so much harder. Where I am in my life — kids, a wife, this deeper sense of life, meaning and purpose. That hit like a ton of bricks. I learned then to make sure that I did grieve this, to think about the loss and truly understand the loss and process the loss with DJ because I don’t think I really did that with Jonathan. Passed away on Wednesday. I’m in the building that next day. I find out DJ passed away as we’re coming out of a walkthrough (on a Saturday), right before we’re going into meetings. My wife called me and you’re just like, “What? What are you talking about?” A few hours later, you’re back in meetings, you’re back in walkthroughs.

There was such an outpouring of emotions around the league with DJ.

He was unbelievable. He was one of the funniest people. He just lit up a room. Energy. A great heart. Special, special.

Throughout your entire career — everything we’ve just talked about — you kept having kids. How do you balance it all?

My wife for sure. If it wasn’t for her, then obviously it just looks different. The focus, the time, the energy it takes. I don’t know how I would do it.

When you come home from work, is it one loud “Daddy!” with five kids rushing your direction?

Yeah, man. I think sometimes me and my wife — because we’re in it — we don’t give ourselves enough credit. Because all you hear is just “How do you do it? It’s so hard!” I wouldn’t be able to do it without her. But when I am home from work and trying to be present, it’s a lot. It’s a lot man. Trying to give them what's left for you.

I imagine a Murray family vacation is chaotic.

We’ve been actually looking into finding somewhat of a camper, sprinter van because of the flying. We just flew last month and we’ve got six right now with a lap child. The four kids and the infant, me and my wife. Seven total. So we fill up a row and then one. Now, we can’t even sit together. At that point, you it’s over. When you can’t even sit together anymore, it’s over.

This could be a stressful time. The unknown could be anxiety-inducing. You seem remarkably calm.

I’ve been through it now. If you talk to the guy who was going through his first offseason as a free agent, then you wouldn’t get this guy. Trust me.

How did you really get to this point? A decade-plus?  

I realized I was stressing because it was so uncertain and unknown. But I had no hand in it anyway. It comes down to who’s interested. It comes down to who wants you? You can have some type of input and let them know how you feel, but it comes down to who wants you. So you’ve just got to sit tight. And when they want you, they’re going to make it known. Until then, you can’t focus on that because it takes away from everything right now.

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ICYMI:

You're up Caleb Williams, Part I: All falls apart

You're up Caleb Williams, Part II: 'Mini Mahomes'