Chris Ballard is the NFL's gamblin' man
Chris Ballard is the NFL's gamblin' man
The Falcons had the nation abuzz with their polarizing pick, but these Indianapolis Colts were the team playing draft roulette one week ago.
There’s no scene in football more unintentionally hilarious than the draft “war room.” The GM, head coach, owner and scouts — dressed to the nines, backs straight, heads high — know exactly when the camera’s on after drafting players and proceed to demonstrably clap in unison.
The player they wanted all along, you see, fell right into their collective laps.
For those five or six seconds on ESPN, the men in suits serve as a sitcom audience being instructed to laugh, to cheer. Doesn’t matter if it’s “Seinfeld” or “Bob Patterson.” They shall clap for their own production. They shall assure the 12 million watching at home that this was a damn good choice. Are you not entertained?!
I’m sorry, but this cringy self-congratulation beats 10 Butt Fumbles combined. Sadly, we’ve become immune to it by now.
Which is why this peek inside the Falcons draft room was so jarring. Shortly after selecting Washington quarterback Michael Penix Jr., Falcons general manager Terry Fontenot appears to be explaining to owner Arthur Blank why the Falcons drafted a quarterback one month after giving Kirk Cousins a four-year, $180 million contract. Instantly, the Falcons’ choice became the story of the 2024 draft with this unsettling exchange looping nonstop.
Then, there’s GM Chris Ballard — leaned back, arms crossed, slicked-back hair —cackling in joy after the Colts drafted UCLA edge rusher Laiatu Latu at No. 15 overall.
The team website captured and promoted this moment.
“Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! We got the best f--kin’ rusher in the draft!” Ballard crows.
The next day, of course, Ballard chose Adonai Mitchell and then went on an expletive-laced rant that swiftly surpassed Fontenot and Blank’s chat as the viral clip of the weekend. Ballard ripped the anonymous scouts who revealed to Go Long that several NFL teams viewed Mitchell as a problem, the very reason Mitchell was the 11th wide receiver drafted.
“I read some of the bullshit that was said. Unnamed sources, ‘bad interview,’ that’s such bullshit. It f--ing is. It’s bullshit,” Ballard said. “Put your name on it. I’m tired (of it). We tear these young men down. These are 21-, 22-year-old young men, and if people out there can tell me they’re perfect in their lives? It’s crap. It’s crap. This is a good kid. For those reports to come out, I said it last year. It’s bullshit.”
“I’m sorry. I apologize for the language. I don’t, but I do.”
Ballard took a sip of Dasani water as the follow-up question was asked. Crossed his arms.
The Falcons didn’t play the most dangerous game of draft roulette last week, no, that distinction goes to the Indianapolis Colts.